allowing vulnerability.

As I sit at my desk surrounded by some of my favorite (book) covers, my "Inspire" playlist blasting, a pile of magazines, a framed photo of a shoot I styled, an urn of pens, and a journal I have turned into a release of ideas and notes, I think

"What do I do, to make my dreams a reality?".

Wearing sweats and a boyfriend sweater, no makeup, an over-the-top vintage-inspired cocktail ring and a head band with the largest faux flower you've ever seen on top (the items that are often too much for this little town, so I toss them on while I'm cleaning house or working from home, it feels so much more glamorous!),

makes me think.... I need to stop playing dress up with my life and actually PLAY life.

I jealously admire creative people that start at "Concept" and continue on to "Execution", and then to "Completion". I have found that there is some grey area that I like to call "the pothole" between concept and completion. Maybe I see this "pothole" when I am reaching it after concept and I panic? I try to miss it, but something guides me straight to it.

Is it a person's voice?

Is it my OWN voice?

Is it a past experience that is haunting me?

Could it be an unfamiliar feeling that I do not want to surrender to?

Is it failure?

Is it success?

Is it possibly doing something that I get praised for, and not being comfortable rising above what I am use to?

Did I just list questions/answers that guides me to this pothole?

{eyes glossed}

I released this troubling situation to an inspiring-wise friend earlier today, and had to share her words

(mainly for a reminder to myself).

"There needs to be something that you produce that feeds your confidence to a place that can not be removed. There has to be something that pushes you to the point of pride, unrelinquished. The thing is, you are so very talented honest,......."

"No one sees your bitty faults. No one knows that it didn't totally go the way you wanted it to. What they do see is what you seem to see in everyone else; That you are respected in your industry, your idea's and plans are awesome,...."

Do you ever trouble the idea of figuring out just what keeps you from doing what you want to do?

Aj